A few thoughts

Jeff has been the "stay at home parent" lately, so yesterday I gave him a baby break, and I have to say that it was one of the first times I totally enjoyed it. Augie was not extra fun or extra good, but I have grown up. a lot. I am confessing this to a. feel better about the truth of it and b. be an encouragement to current and future moms. It is really hard to enjoy babies all the time, and granted, it get's easier with time, but it is hard. I have really begun to understand my enjoyment of Augie is not about him, it is about me. My attitude, my spirit, my selfishness or lack there of.


Yesterday was a joy. Even when he was yelling loudly about not wanting to be in the shopping cart, even when he didn't want to take a nap, or was distroying a friend's potted plant. The joy I deny to myself. I see much more daily why 80 year old women stop me in the grocery store and tell me to "enjoy this time, it goes so fast". I thought thier regret was in the time passage, but I think that I understand that it was not how fast the time went, but that they didn't enjoy it like they wish they could.

And with that I am finally and actually getting excited (not scared) for Becket, for more of the same. For my chance to enjoy my boys (although, don't get me started on a house full of boys). I am really embracing motherhood more each day, with each stage. I wish I had earlier, but thank God I am understanding how to now.

k